I don't want too

Poison & Wine

You only know what I want you to
I know everything you don't want me to
Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine
You think your dreams are the same as mine
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
I always will

I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back
The less I give the more I get back
Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don't have a choice but I'd still choose you

Oh I don't love you but I always will [x7]I always will [x5]

And maybe I always will.
But you don't deserve my love.
I want to move forward and be able to give myself fully to someone else.

Someone who will treat me better.
Better then you ever did.
Someone who will one day say I love you.

I meant what I said to you about this song.
I just didn't realize how true it was.

Its supposed to be about the butterflies and the fireworks

You and I just met a week ago.
But it feels like we've known each other for so much longer.
I guess when you think about it we spent the whole weekend together at retreat, 
then that following week we spent every other day together with non stop communication in between.
I really admire who you are.
You are such a great guy.
I always look forward to our conversations and spending time with you; and I already told you I can't imagine saying bye to you.
But these last few days you gave me that look, and I couldn't do it.
I couldn't kiss you.
Even when you held my hand for the first time.. nothing. 
No sparks, no excitement, no passion!
But I can't not be with you.
I don't know what to do.
Maybe I'm just not ready.
This is all so new to me. 
I've always wanted this, and it's not that I'm not attracted to you.
I just can't let myself go there with you; and it scares me.
I don't want to hurt you.
I pray for answers Father, I pray you you shine a light on this situation so that I may see what is the right thing to do.

Pumpkin Spice

I used to love them.
WE used to love them.
Except you loved them with someone else too.
Now, they don't taste the way I remember they did.

Prayer request from Elim Young Adults

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST - Larry and Marion Boese (Larry is our lead custodial at the church) have a grandson whose name is Micah. He is 9 years old. This coming Monday Micah is going to surgery. They recently found a tumor on his brain. And specifically it is around the brain stem. It is cancer of some sort - possibly 1 of 3 kinds - only one is treatable. But until they perform the surgery they won't know.
But this surgery is complicated enough. It may have fused into the brain stem (which is not good). It is life or death for sure in this surgery.
Such hard news for parents/grandparents to hear. Then after the surgery he will left asleep for 3 days (can't imagine that waiting).So we need people to PRAY. Let's ask God for a HUGE miracle. Rescue Micah we pray O God!

Vulnerable

is a very dangerous place for me to be in with you.

Faces West

Let the journey begin.

Underneath the looking glass

Chest: 32cm

Waist: 25cm

Hips: 35 cm

Body: scarred